from myspace, two days before trevor's death and before I moved to the house by the river. Clear, calm day, the view over the courthouse lawn on the yellow buildings and the limestone library is clear. the cannon aimed at the Haymarket, vaguely feels like the south near the ocean.
"my car needs a new battery but i'm really not motivated to get one. i'm moving out of my apartment next week and i'm really not motivated to move. i'd like to be dating someone but i'm not motivated to go out and find someone.
it feels like most of my life has been dominated by a frantic animal-like searching, longing, wanting, craving. like i'm empty or starved and i need something, someone to fill me up. it's classic adult child of an alcoholic syndrome.
i want pizza and a nap. but i'd like to eat the pizza first and then take a nap. but i'd like someone to nap with me. do they have people who are hired to nap with you? i'd like two people to nap with me."
